Lori Raymond

>Be the MMO Fangirl. ''Excuse me, I'm also a supporter. Financially. In large amounts.''

>Be the Premium Content Subscriber. ''That's better. Morons.''

Your name is LORI RAYMOND, and you love MMOs. Free, Freemium, One-Time Payment, Subscription... all these and more are your bread and butter. You spend most of your time online, even going so far as to play smartphone-capable MMOs in class. You may have gotten MORE THAN A FEW DETENTIONS for that, but you're not telling. Besides, it's not like your HIGH GRADES let them do much to you. Hey, nobody said you weren't A SMART KID.

You also enjoy your DOWNLOADABLE GAMES, and you've probably spent several hundred dollars of your PARENT'S MONEY on DLC for these games. Not that your POPS particularly cares; he's rich from some patent or another. You never really paid attention. Besides, who needs to pay attention to the real world when video games are an option?

Lately, you've become addicted to TROLLQUEST, which isn't entirely surprising. You've played virtual life MMOs before, but this one seems more real. Plus, the one character limit intrigues you. Why only one? And what's this about the top two tiers being premium-only? You bought the expansion, of course, so you have access (and your character is the SECOND-HIGHEST BLOOD TIER IN THE GAME, so fuck yeah, money's worth right there). You're not sure what the top tiers actually DO, but hey, it's premium content, so it has to be worth what you paid for it! And that wasn't exactly cheap content.

Still, you like talking to people you've met online. Outside the game, you generally contact them through your smartphone or your laptop, through your handle. You use it because. In-game, you go by the trolltag, and. You play your character as a trigger happy bloodthirsty maniac. You find it hilarious.

Your troll is female, of course: Narjai Ilikha. After buying the premium Lusus upgrade, you paid extra to make your own custom lusus out of Earth animals. You chose to combine a shark, a tiger, and a wolf into a truly deadly-looking, probably-biologically-impractical BEAST of a monster. Your blood is the second-highest tier available, and your dwelling is located underwater. You bought the premium LEGENDARY WEAPONS OF THE DEEP DLC, and so you have 2X3DENTKIND as your strife specibus. Your fetch modus in-game, the LEGEND MODUS, was also DLC, and it only lets you access items by calling them forth as though they were legendary artifacts. Some of the absolutely stupid shit you captchalogued in-game will probably NEVER BE REMOVED thanks to your PREMIUM FETCH MODUS. Not that you'd change it ever. You paid (your dad's) good money for it!

You, personally, use WIIMOTEKIND as your strife specibus —*you're fairly good at using it, thankfully, but you doubt it would have any use as a practical weapon. A gal can dream, though. Your fetch modus is the PAY2PLAY MODUS, which requires frequent investments of money to upgrade. You figure you've stuffed about $1500 into the card where you're keeping cash in order to unlock most of the features, but there are still some that are eluding you —*specifically, the unlocking of the ARRAY FUNCTION and the UNLIMITED SIZE UPGRADE. Both of which you want... even if you're not sure you can quite get enough to pay for them. Apparently you need whatever that weird-looking B is (never seen an number like that before).

The S8RB update seems to be the thing you've been waiting for your entire life. IT WILL BE GLORIOUS, and as soon as you and your friends have it installed, you're going to play the SHIT out of this thing.